first flash of eden

erika gave birth to healthy baby kai, who is the cutest thing i've ever seen since sam. who, by the way, was the cutest thing i've seen since sophie...get the picture? i'm so happy for ecka and ej. and kai is so cute! and i've only seen pictures! i'm so proud of all my friends with kids, because i for one would be freaked out as hell to have a child. it still freaks me out though, that not just one of us, but THREE of us actually have one each of those. it's like a kick in the ass that sends you reeling into the present, and the message is loud and clear: YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER! here i am, still in school, and the rest of them are out having their own families, working at the jobs, building careers, taking up their master's (by the way, suki, on that note, i'm so proud of you! so many people said they would, but you're one of the very few who actually DID) and i'm still stuck in school. oddly enough though, i'm not exactly ashamed as most people think i should be. i mean, what really makes everyone elses life better than mine just because they're done with school? i'm not saying mine is better than theirs either. but for the first time in my life, i'm actually comfortable with where i am and where i'm going, never mind that i'm alone for the ride. anyway, ultimately, don't we ALL have to do this alone? but what makes this all easier to do is knowing who i am. so maybe i'm way behind in terms of career or education, but all it is is time. but i know myself, because i had that time to figure that out. hey, i still don't know all the answers, but i'll be damned if any of my friends who HAVE their degrees and their jobs DO have all the answers. KAI IS SO CUTE!