the first time i went to fete, i was with my dad. it must have been about 10 years ago. since then i've gone every year with the closest friends i've had at that particular time in my life, depending what i was into that year. but with no fail, every year, whether we go there together or not, whether we're on good terms or not, trish and i always meet up at fete. even when we don't plan to meet up, or we don't call or text each other, we will always find each other there. and even if it's at a time when we aren't exactly each others favorite person at that moment, when at fete, all that drama goes out the door. trish and i have been making fete memories every year, and every year there's always some new drama or excitement that we can laugh about that's always just ours, hers and mine. it's consistently one of the highlights of my year.

tricia! what am i gonna do now that there's no fete this year??? waaaahhhhh (this is me bawling like a baby)

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The Da Vinci Code sucked serious ass. I've been saying it since i first heard about it, and i'll say it again now that i've seen it: Tom Hanks is so not right as Langdon. Even Audrey Toutou sucked as Sophie. The script was bad, the writing was bad, it was all bad. Bad, bad, bad. I'd like to give criticism that is more constructive than that, but it sucked so much that i can't come up with anything else that describes it better than that.

this is from an email that tricia*alon sent me. it's funny because i've been saying over and over the past few days, when did we all decide that we have to grow up? but today is the day of my first class for this term, and i just realized that i atleast know where i am now, which is trying to finish school. and sure, it may be taking alot longer than it would most people, but atleast i know where i am and what i'm supposed to be doing tomorrow. and where will i be one year from now? hopefully going to class on the first day of my last term in school. so it may not be an ideal situation, but atleast i know where i am, where i SHOULD be going. so maybe i shouldn't be thinking about what happens after school. i'll just worry about that later. right now all i should be worrying about is getting to class on time.

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and startrealizing that there are many things about yourselfthat you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder whereyou will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish andthat, maybe, those friends that you thought youwere close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have losttouch with are some of the most important ones.What you don't recognize is that they are realizingthat too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean orinsincere but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even closeto what you thought you would be doing, or maybeyou are looking for a job and realizing that you aregoing to have to start at the bottom, and that scares you.Your opinions have gotten stronger. You seewhat others are doing and find yourself judgingmore than usual because suddenly you realizethat you have certain boundaries in your life andare constantly adding things to your list of what isacceptable and what isn't. One minute, you areinsecure and then the next, secure.You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared andconfused. Suddenly, change is the enemy andyou try and cling on to the past with dear life, butsoon realize that the past is drifting further andfurther away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.You get your heart broken and wonder howsomeone you loved could do such damage to you.Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get toknow better. Or maybe you love someone but lovesomeone else too and cannot figure out why youare doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.One-night-stands and random hook-ups start tolook cheap. Getting wasted and acting like anidiot starts to look pathetic. You go through thesame emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topicsbecause you cannot seem to make a decision.You worry about loans, money, the future andmaking a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to bea contender!What you may not realize is that everyonereading this relates to it. We are in our best oftimes and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

talk about a symbolic end to summer. it's almost as if the whole universe decided to let me know that it's time to buckle down. so, the rains started early this year...in time for my first week of school. and grey's anatomy's 2nd season is over...in time for my first week of school. and so is lost. and desperate housewives. as if the gods of tvDOM and internetDOM have said "alright now. that's enough downloading! time to start thinking about that thesis project! time's a-tickin'!"
for to be my supposed "last summer", this was a pretty anti-climactic one. There weren't any trips out of town (sorry, i know this may make me sound jaded, but a weekend in matuod is no longer a trip out of town.) there weren't any stay out all night drinking sprees. there weren't even any stay IN all night drinking sprees. no wild drives, no lounging around at the malls. i got drunk ONCE this whole summer, and it wasn't even enough to get me to puke!!! how disgusting is that??!!??
when did we all decide we were grown up???

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i heard once that the families we're born into are merely start-up families that prepare you for the real family that you'll get along the way. well, i love the family that i was born into. but just the same, there are a few people out there that i know i can't live without. you know who you are.