images from after the storm...

glenn's finger...this is along ayala

the park on front of glorietta 3.i can't remember experiencing a scarier storm. maybe it's because the house had gone through some dubious "renovations" last year, i wasn't feeling too safe. not to mention that the fuckers next door still haven't cleared out all the waste from that dump they abandoned so a large g.i. sheet flew right into my lolo's window and cracked the glass right above his head as he slept. but the afternoon was alot better. hanging out with my dad and his friends along with glenn and cio, eating shabushabu...puts alot of things in perspective. i mean, there i was sitting in a room with airconditioning, eating a good hot meal while there are people out there who're losing their homes in the storm. what more those who don't have homes to begin with? where do they go to find shelter? the streets are flooded, things are flying all over the place, i felt like dorothea in the middle of the tornado. i don't feel guilty for what i have, my family works hard to keep our house and to put food on the table, and we never waste as long as we can help it. but i do feel like i could do more. but what CAN i do? i'd really like to know.

mabe i do feel guilty after all.

i miss my hair.

let me just say that my family is a big group of people that you don't wanna piss off, and yet, it's so easy to piss them off. not exactly the kind of people you would think of spending copious amounts of time with on an island far from civilization. but they're MY family and no one else is allowed to say all that about them but me. and they can be fun when they wanna be. with all that being said, i'm about to spend a whole weekend with them and a class of sixth graders at the beach. wish me luck and pray that i come back alive.

on the other hand, i'll be in the beach while you b*tches are here in the sweltering, polluted city. :D this thought makes me happy.

hey you, little girl with the fake smile. i hate you. you should know who you are. i really hate you.
you wanna know WHY i hate you? because you are not the person you made yourself out to be. you big fake.
i. hate. you.
i hate the way you tried to steal my friends. i hate the way you claimed bits of my personality to be your own but then ditch me because you can't handle my intensity.
i hate you.
and the main reason why i hate you? because i was always there for you, without you even having to ask. and when i needed you, you refused to be there for me because my problems were too intense.
no one's perfect. i admit i'm intense. i'm also lazy, flakey, moody and temperamental. i'm over sensitive and i like to curse alot, and there's alot more that's wrong with me too...but you're not so great yourself. if you were really a good friend, you would've duked it out with me and confronted me about what was bothering you, but you didn't. you just went around telling people all sorts of shit about me. did i "ditch" YOU because you can barely carry a meaningful conversation? because you're shallow and pedantic?

NO I DID NOT! BUT YOU DID.
and because of this....I HATE YOU.
but lemme just say that as i'm writing this, i have a smile on my face...because i also wanna thank you.
because i hate you, i realize how much i love my friends. the ones who don't run when i have a problem. the ones who roll their eyes when i'm having a temper tantrum but don't leave me because i'm having more bad days than good. the ones who confront me about what's been bothering them. the ones who aren't FAKE!!!
you're probably reading this and wondering "is it me?" if you really wanna know if it is you...ask yourself this...where's the bob marley cd with my name on it?
yeah, that's right. YOU!!!! I HATE YOU!!!
you'll get what's coming to you, little girl. you just wait.