This is a poem I wrote for someone who lied. Not to me, but this person's lie affected too many people. This person went too far. So, I put a lot of thought and time into this poem, and so much of my pain and soul, I think, can be glimpsed through this piece. So here's the poem....

"To the person who lied" by Margaux Hontiveros

FUCK. YOU.

I'm weaning myself off cigarettes. Here I go again...

Movies I'm excited to see....

"Vicky Christina Barcelona"

I've been a Woody Allen fan for as long as I can remember. Or at least, for as long as I could actually understand all the neurosis behind the stories. But since "Everyone Says I Love You", I haven't exactly been excited about any of his films. Until I saw the trailer to "Vicky Christian Barcelona". Allen continues with his obsession with Scarlett Johansen with a story about two American girl friends who vacay in Spain and fall for the same Painter who has a vixen for an ex-wife. The cast if made up of some awesome actors like Javier Bardem, Patricia Clarkson, Penelope Cruz (I've been waiting for her to do another comedy. Bandidas sucked.) and of course, Scarlett Johansen, and Spain as the backdrop, I cannot be more excited than I am to watch a NEW Woody Allen movie.

"Sixty Six"

From the makers of "Billy Elliot" and "About A Boy" comes another coming of age story set in the UK. This one's kinda different though. It's still got the subtle hilarity factor that I loved from both aforementioned movies. But this one's a story about a Jewish boy in the 50s who's always the last to get picked. When it comes time for his Bar Mitzvah, he thinks, wow, finally, his time to be the center of attention. Only problem is...the day that he's scheduled for his big shebang into Manhood is also the day of the World Cup Final. What's a boy to do? "That's the thing about being Jewish - You haven't got foreskin, you seen a lot of BALLS to make up for it!"

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"Burn After Reading"

Directed by the Coen Brothers and starring Brad Pitt, George Cloony, Tilda Swinton and John Effing Malcovich. And it's a comedy. Written by the Coen Brothers. I have nothing else to write about this. I have no words.

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"Wanted"

Angelina looks soooo hot in this new movie. I hear it's an adaptation of a comic book, but whatever. Like I'm into comic books anyway. Oh, sorry! Graphic Novels. In any case, the movie looks like it's gonna kick some serious ass. Is it wrong that I like Angelina Jolie holding a gun? The movie also stars rapper Common, James McAvoy(love 'em Glasgow boys) and Morgan Freeman. McAvoy plays a loser nobody who's recruited into "fraternity of assassins". But the good guy assassins. And they can all bend bullets like Beckham bends balls. Yep, it's definitely a Graphic Novel adaptation. I'm just really thankful they went with McAvoy instead of that dork who played Spiderman or that Hobbit.

"Righteous Kill"

Pacino, De Niro and lines like "Most people respect the badge. Everybody respects the gun." Need I say more? PACINO AND DE NIRO!!!!



"Choke"

Based on the book of the same title by Chuck Palahniuk (THE writer of "Fight Club"), Sam Rockwell (who played an awesome psycho in "Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind") is a sex addict who pretends to choke on his food in restaurants. As a con. Apparently he plays psychos really well. They say don't judge a book by its cover, so it should follow that you shouldn't judge a movie by its poster. But the poster for choke is just so awesome! It's like a kick back to old 70's movie posters, and strangely enough it does have a Palahniuk feel to it too.

"Mamma Mia"

In the spirit of "Across The Universe", this musical is a tribute of sorts to ABBA. Admit it, you love ABBA! Singing "Dancing Queen" at the Videoke place, humming "Fernando" on a starlit night, secretly wishing you and three other friends could do the "Take a chance, take a chance" bit. Starring the FAHbulous Meryl Streep (nice to see her softer side again) and Amanda Seyfried aka Lilly Kane (how many people are gonna get that reference?), Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth. The story is set in beautiful Greece (at least that's what it looks like) and Amanda Seyfried is getting married, and what girl wouldn't want her Father to walk her down the aisle. Only thing is, her mother (Streep, who is another underrated Comedic actress) hasn't told her who her father is. Sneaking a peek in to her mother's diary, Seyfried invites three men from her mothers past and by her powers of deduction (and dance numbers), proceeds to find out which one is her father.

"The Wackness"

It's 1994. It's the days of hoop earrings, crimped hair in a high half pony tail, Beverly Hills 90210 and seriously FRESH hip-hop. It's summer in New York and Shapiro, a small time Marijuana dealer and virgin is about to go to college in the fall. In the mean time, he spends his summer dealing to his Shrink and falling in love with his shrink's step daughter. Starring Ben Kingsley, Method Man and the once fat but now skinny Josh Peck(Drake and Josh), the trailer with the music, slang, grafitti and pop culture references ("You look like Jason Priestley") make me so nostalgic. I am so excited to see this movie.

I am so excited about this movie. The freakiest children's book I've read since Grimm's.

Just spent the afternoon fixing the living room, cleaning out boxes and containers and basically moved everything around so that it looks like a whole new house. After last weeks revamp of my room, I'm on a freakin' roll!!! All the cleaning and rearranging felt good, until it came time to move out some of the stuff in my room and move my desk in here. It looks different. My room even FEELS different. Well, atleast I can work on a table again. I have this weird habit of rearranging stuff when I know I won't be going anywhere the following day. Gives me time to get used to my new surroundings. I'm a creature of habit, I guess.

At this very moment, my father is in a plane, en route to the city of Male in the Maldives. Tomorrow will be the first Father's Day I spend without my father. 27 years old and I'm still a Daddy's girl. But I'm trying something new, as suggested by my Dad, and that is trying to make the most out of any situation and find the joy in simple things.

So I've come home early on a saturday night, cranked up the AC in my room, snuggled under my favorite feather down comforter covered in my new sheets, popped in a comedy in the DVD player and turned off all lights, save for my side table lamp. I'm all comfy cozy in my bed with my Mac on my lap and a small tub of fresh cherrys. I'm so relaxed and content, I may even go to bed early.

This isn't so bad. Actually, it's pretty cool. I'm so relaxed, even content, that I may actually go to sleep early. I guess Father really does know best.

So to all the fathers, Happy Father's day.

To my Dad, thanks. All this comfort and relaxation I'm enjoying right now is all because of you. Not just because you work hard enough to give me a comfortable life, but because you taught me that it's moments like this that make life worthit: A quiet night alone when you know that the world outside is going on without you, and it's alright.

Contrary to what my Dad believes, it doesn't take much to make me happy.

For example, a sunny day at the beach? Makes me happy.

A brand new shirt that's whiter than Michael Jackson? Makes me happy.

Finding a ten peso coin in my pocket or bag that I wasn't looking for? Makes me happy....

Finding out that I can buy Royce chocolates right here in Manila? RAPTURE!!!!

KONBINI STORE
#57 Connecticut St., Northeast Greenhills
San Juan City
Tel. No. 722-4263

When Little Girls No Longer Believe In Fairy Tales.

In the Mommytracked blog (please don't ask what I'm doing reading a blog for MOMMIES. It's not what you think!) there is an "Anti-Princess" Reading List.

Mommytracked says: "Snow White and Cinderella certainly have their place in all children's hearts. But if you want your kids to grow up believing that girls should dream of more than just kissing the prince, check out these books.
Each of them features strong, smart, spunky girl protagonists that want to eat bugs, get first place in the science fair and grow up to be a teacher, a doctor, a firefighter or even a diva."

The list consists of titles like "Grace for President", "Pirate Girl" and "Kate and the Beanstalk".

I grew up surrounded by strong women. I was influenced by strong women. Even the floozies my dad used to date were intellectuals, athletes, business and civic minded women with strong passions and convictions. I was taught that if you had no ambition, no drive, then you were a waste of air.

BEING a housewife wasn't looked down on, but WANTING to be a housewife raised eyebrows. Beauty Pageants and the like were laughed at and trophy wives were made fun of. Which is weird since the women in my family (and the women my Dad dated) are all exceptionally beautiful. Even as a child I was programmed to roll my eyes at Snow White as she lay comatose inside a glass coffin guarded by little men, and feel an affinity to Alice with her spunk and fighting spirit.

I've been breaking my back for almost three decades now to be an ANTI-PRINCESS. I know nothing else but that. I know I'm supposed to care more about Shakespeare and Bauelaire than Cosmo and Vogue. That I'm supposed to be moved by the aesthetics of a Philippe Stark colander more than a Manolo Blahnik mule. That knowing the trials and sins of Lightnin' Hopkins than the sins of Britney Spears. That it's more valuable to know how to make a paella than a chocolate cake. That's all I know, it's what I grew up knowing, it's what I live, it's what I preach.

But when I came across the reading list, I couldn't help but think how different my life would have been all these years if only I'd have been more interested in boys than books, in clothes than computers, in making myself pretty rather than making things pretty. In baking cookies and cakes rather than alcohol drenched entrees. If I had been more of a PRINCESS would I be conflicted about Marriage? About children? About work?

In the past, a woman was EXPECTED to marry and have children. And if school or work got in the way of that, there was no question which would be thrown out the window with the bath water. And sometimes, there was no choice either. A woman would wait for her Prince Charming to rescue her. A woman in those days went from her father's house to her husband's house.

I'm thankful to the whole Women's lib movement, Virginia Slims ads and burning of the bras. Really, I am. Because of all that, I have a choice. Be a PRINCESS or and ANTI-PRINCESS. But sometimes having choices just means that there's a RIGHT choice and a WRONG choice. And you all have to admit that you want your daughter to be more Oprah and less Martha (without the Prison time, duh! You know what I mean!).

We're bombarded with reminders everyday, every minute about having to be the best. You're either number one or you're a zero. Ambition and drive and excellence, these are the things that matter, that make you a person worthy of praise. Even our fairy tales have taken on weird angles to suit the Independent Woman culture of today. Little Red Riding Hood wasn't rescued by the Woodsman, she killed the Wolf herself with her kung-fu skills. We think that we have a choice between being the Princess or the Anti-Princess, but really, aren't we pressured enough to be the ANTI that it almost seems as if there's no other choice?

Why change the stories? Why discourage fairy tales? Because we've grown suspicious of happily ever after, we're teaching little girls that there's no such thing. What's wrong with believing that a handsome man will care for you and rescue you in your time of need? What's wrong with believing that a kiss can be so amazing that it can wake you up to a whole new world? What's wrong with wishing that a Fairy Godmother could make your dreams come true? What's wrong with believing in a little magic?

We've been so jaded by history that we think we're doing the new breed of little girls a favor by replacing dreams with ambition. That a girl's duty is be a PERSON, not JUST a woman.

When a woman with incredible achievements gets interviewed, she's always asked the question, "What's your greatest achievement" and her answer is always the same: "My children." Don't we all gag and throw up a little in our mouths? When a SINGLE woman with achievements is interviewed and she's asked the love life question, her answer is "I don't have time for all that". Don't we nod our heads in agreement and give her a mental pat on the back for a job well done?

"Fairy tales aren't real" is the cliche of the era. And as I said earlier, I know nothing else but being an ANTI-PRINCESS. But sometimes I wish I could honestly believe in Fairy Tales.

My dad's off to the Maldives in a few days. He'll be living on the flat atolls for the next six months, at least.

I thought I had a lot to say about this, but apparently I don't.